Perhaps i am irrevocably depressed and therefore cannot conceive the point to an existence, but this is the way i see it:
1. we were born without having okayed the genesis
2. we go to school, do our homework and extra-curricular activities, go to uni and then to work, or just to work, and sometimes engage in more extra-curricular activities that help us give meaning to our lives like praying to shrines and saying things like amen, doing yoga in hot rooms, attend expensive self-help conventions that are marketed as elite improvement centres but that are really a bunch of smart and not very nice people exploiting a bunch of dumb and vulnerable people, and the smart people use pop-psychology to teach lessons every person over 12 already knows, drink alcohol and smoke lots of things to forget, obtain hopeless addictions, fall in love only to have our hearts broken, or perhaps only have the impression of falling in love because the feeling is beautiful and can sometimes give meaning but as a relationship takes two to tango one can always break the other and then the person whose heart got broken loses the will to live, read lots of books, hang out with people (sometimes just to distract ourselves from existence), watch movies, do sport, and get laid.
3. the good things in life are transient, and the bad things in life seem to sink into our pores like mercury
4. rejection, financial troubles, family troubles, time troubles, idea troubles, troubles with humanity, hating humanity, climate change, politicians having all the power and none of the ideas, or morals, pollution, extreme poverty, disease, crime, xenophobia, homophobia, narrow minded rednecks, lack of education, bad health systems, hospitals that transmit disease, cancer, gross obesity and anorexia, are 0.00000000001 of the tip of the iceberg of the failures in this world. and some people, especially the people that have the power to, often so not care to fix them but only to live their lives in disgustingly superfluous luxury, like driving a new lamborghini is a better idea than helping a small town eat for a decade.

i want to roll over little colourful balls in a bright room while singing feeling good by nina simone and eating watermelon

after that i want to squeeze watermelon juice all over myself and roll over the little balls again

i want to ride a formidable stallion that likes me and who eats organic apples from my hand without biting me either on purpose or accidentally

i want to sing christmas carols to the rich houses at point piper during july and not stop until they give me some money. and when they do give me money i will thank them profusely and shake their hands for too long. but if they call the police i will run away very fast


i want to comment in nice ways on an older womans lip augmentation while smiling too widely and with my eyes opened too wide as well. i would also nod at the same time but only very subtley

after i comment nicely on an older womans lip augmentation i'd like to introduce the topic of poverty and say in low and reverent tones how i feel that we need to avoid the traps of the consumerism perpetuated by capitalism

i want to sleep in someones back yard and in the morning when they unlock the door walk inside and treat myself to breakfast

i would also like to make extra breakfast for the other people that might live there and wear their apron

i would also like to sit on someones doorstep reading a book and smoking a cigarette to see what the people would do and if they were nice i'd tell them some jokes. but maybe my jokes wouldn't be very funny because i'm not very good at telling jokes

i believe that true beauty does not exist

i believe that true beauty is beauty that is pure and untainted and I believe that all that is beautiful is tainted. even looking at a flower is terrible as it is a reminder of what we have done to this planet and how fucked humans are

i believe that life is like a toilet bowl because it’s constantly being defecated on. sometimes it is cleaned but people are constantly pissing and shitting all over it. and the crap that is flushed away just goes somewhere else and becomes someone else’s problem, unless something really bad happens like a pipe leak and then everyone worries about it

i believe that humans are the worst thing that could have happened to this planet. i think confucius was terribly wrong when he said that the root of all evil is indifference. i believe that the root of all evil are humans

i believe that true altruism is bullshit and anyone who believes in it is fucked. I believe that people do nice things for other people to make themselves feel nice about themselves or through a sense of duty or because they would otherwise look like jerks in front of other people

i believe judgment is unfair cause everyone is just as fucked as everyone else except of course for serial killers and rapists and people that do inconceivably fucked up things to other people, they are the most fucked up

I believe that people must believe in a god to make themselves feel better. because how can a god or gods exist who are meant to be omni-every-fucking-thing-considered-good when motherfuckers of events occur in this world. how does an anglican explain they are not protestant or methodist using logic? how does an anglican justify their beliefs in anglican-ism over baptist-ism when a king who beheaded a heap of his wives created the religion so he could stop killing women and divorce them instead? how does anyone who believes in a god logically justify their blind faith, when for EVERYTHING ELSE we rely on empirical evidence?

i believe that everything that exists on the planet earth should have been given a free choice to exist. without this free choice i am forced to endure something i wish i had nothing to do with

i wish i was a cheetah instead as they are the fastest animal on land. i wish had i needed to exist here i could have chosen not to be human and to be something else and to therefore not be a despicable part of a despicable species

humans I am sure of it will ruin themselves and the planet will spit them into death and will revive itself and be beautiful again in a long long time

i believe that humans are cruel and as i despise them i must despise myself

i want to have a week long bath in a tub filled with lemon juice and salt and splash my legs around like when i was young but not pee in the bath like when i was young

i want to spew up all that is inside of me including my internal organs and get a series of different shaped brushes and clean my organs and then swallow them back up so that they are inside me again and drink detoxifying wheat grass juices and soy milk and eat some broccoli

i want to tell that man from last night that i thought it was weird that a rich GM of one of the biggest companies in the state was flirting with me in sweet and also very inappropriate manners. i never want to tell him that although he is twice my age one of the first things i thought about him was sex

i want to be rich but not do the things he does to get rich because that would be me selling my soul. and to be honest i would rather go dumpstering than to doyles if it means selling my soul

i understand we have different souls

sometimes i very secretly think that i am an alien

because when i try to probe the minds of others when we have serious discussions about suicide to not so serious discussions about epilators i really try to get in deep like i’m on the verge of discovering el dorado even though i am always swamped with doubts as to how accurate my readings of the innermost workings of their minds are

also when i was young, although i wasn’t particularly ugly except for maybe when i was twelve and looked like a boy with long hair or in high school when i had hairy legs and spoke about masturbating a lot i was pretty smart and good at sport too like second in my grade

actually maybe i was pretty ugly but the cool group still liked me and wanted me to be their friend and some of the popular boys said i was hot so musn't have been a complete pariah but i always always always felt like an absolute loser. i hated life. a lot

even these days sometimes i just hate life just because of the things in this world and i’m so not pro-life because i the way i see it is i never asked to be here and if you were to show me a five-minute trailer of what my life would be like if i chose yes i would say no. and that’s because i would see that the majority of my life would be spent feeling hateful and lonely and confused and very very angry at lots of people and very very sad and depressed about even more people and all the good things would never make up for it. lindt chocolate, minties and red wine even when its less than eight dollars a bottle are all pretty good but still

additionally sometimes when i smoke i have so much fun but then i feel the overwhelming and unexplainable need to throw the whole jar of Nutella into the sea and throw punches at people just to be MORE of an outsider. how much sense does that make

i have weird bone structure in my feet and one day a friend said what happened to your feet and i said i was born like this and he said oh

and often I think things are interesting or humorous when no one else thinks so and do embarrassing things and my friends and family get ashamed and i don’t understand why and we end up fighting

furthermore for a whole week all I did was reject invitations to go out with my friends and watched space documentaries on youtube

sometimes i very secretly think that i am an alien because i don’t understand how humans work in very basic senses but then do on more complex levels

also i am not very good at life

the end

How to Confuse People

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

How badly do you want to get people confused? It'll take a day or two to master, but it's easy!

Steps

1. Frequently state untruths. A variety of obvious and subtle lies are ideal in achieving maximum levels of confusion. An example of an obvious lie is, “I am, in fact, an alien. Thousands of years ago a contingent of my people chanced upon your planet when they got lost on their way to a popular holiday spot. There are many of us that live among you.” A nice finishing touch to this lie could be lowering your voice a number of octaves and look them unblinkingly in the eye as you utter the last sentence. Contrastingly, a subtle lie is one which could be construed as either true or untrue. These are particularly confusing as people generally don’t know what to believe. An example of a subtle lie is, “I haven’t changed my underwear in three days.”
   
2. For your untruths to maintain their ability to confuse you must also state many obvious facts. A great way to demonstrate you don’t babble palaver all the time is to remain up-to-date with the news and engage in serious discussions regarding current national and international events and issues. Prime topics include, but are not limited to, climate change, politics and religion. Other great avenues for serious discussion include film, books and the price of rental properties. Ensure you have conducted sufficient research on these topics so that your opinion is well-supported. Punctuating your palaver with well-informed and intelligent discussion will exponentially increase others’ confusion.
   
3. NEVER admit that you were lying. Even if you develop a reputation for being a well-informed, curious and intelligent individual remain adamant that you never lie. This reputation, juxtaposed with your blatant fabrications and your understated falsehoods will guarantee maximum levels of confusion. Indeed, admitting that you have told lies renders all future obvious untruths void- if people think you believe your own lies their levels of confusion will intensify.
   
4. Engage in socially unacceptable behaviour. When saying goodbye to a friend or colleague, try to kiss them. At other times, turn around and walk away without saying goodbye. Another great way to be socially unacceptable (and please note the best time to do this is when wearing a suit- the more extreme the juxtapositions, the better) is to smell people. When walking down a busy street with a colleague you are trying to confuse you could appear to be attempting to remain covert as you smell a variety of strangers. Note: it’s best to smell them from behind so as to reduce the chances of them noticing you. Crossing your eyes during a business meeting, smelling your arm-pits in formal milieus and laughing at things that are not humourous in any context are other examples of confusing actions. A plethora of behaviour could be used, get creative!
   

Tips

• Juxtapose, juxtpose, juxtapose! You can never juxtapose frequently or extremely enough in your noble quest to confuse the hell out of people.
  
• Don't let social conventions limit your creativity! In fact, the more your demonstrate complete and utter disrespect for social norms the more confusing you will be, particularly if you ensure this is contrasted with the Hugo Boss suit you're wearing. However, if you forsee the possibility of offending a thoroughly reasonable and easy-going individual its a good idea to rethink your planned action.
  
• Don't only tell one type of lie and exclude meaningful conversation from your conversation. Following these steps will ensure utmost confusion in achieved.
  

Warnings

• Try your best not to offend genuinely reasonable individuals.
  
• Some behaviours are illegal, such as harrassment. Continued harrassing behaviour directed to the same individual/s may result in legal action.
  
• Take being serious seriously. When engaging in meaningful and provoking conversations behave accordingly.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Confuse People. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Perhaps I'm the quintessential university student. I have $12 in my bank account, owe $100 on my credit card and am one week in arrears on my rent. Today, whilst drunk, I walked through the supermarket filling my basket with canned soup and the cheap brands of milk and bread whilst sheepishly devouring half of an absolutely delectable chicken. I've tried to be vegetarian, not just for the ethical reason of not wanting to partake in the commodification of animals (and farming animals simply isn't sustainable in any case) but for the economic reasons of wanting to save my dollars. Meat is expensive, there's no doubt about that. I’m also the type of student that meets deadlines through the realisation of them via word of mouth. I am in a constant state of complacency which is frequently punctuated by episodes of panic induced by a fellow student asking me how I am going with a particular assignment. This is juxtaposed with the fact that I'm actually a bit of a perfectionist; on an essay we weren’t even marked on made sure I did the things I needed to just to see all the “exceeds expectations” boxes ticked. It’s a bizarre combination, even to me.


Another fact that perhaps slots me into the perfect representation of a uni student is that I'm single. I just read my last post and hope to never be there again. Of course, Harry has tried on numerous occasions now to get back in my good books but there is nothing in me that wants any part of him. After years of (superstitiously) not admitting to myself or others that I wanted to be in one of those beautiful things called a relationship I have now swung a 180. I have consciously decided that absolute truth is absolute freedom. Whether I confess the truth to others is one thing, but admitting the truth to oneself is paramount in achieving clarity, self-assurance and peace.


My life is actually quite close to perfect. On the surface it appears to be a messy and unstable collection of consequences that resulted from a series of equally messy and unstable choices made by a chaotic and irresponsible individual. It is, in fact, the result of the manifestation of a choice that was made after years of mind-numbing questioning, periods of desolate confusion and what must accumulate to be months infatuated deliberation. The choice I made was to accept what it was I was born to do, despite the doubt and the fear that plagued me like an all enveloping, omnipotent disease. The choice I made gives me a sense of purpose to my being. Bizarrely, I feel new.